Interesting Perspective..too bad she was too mad to listen…
Posted on Mar 30, 2010 11:40:55 PM
I had a quaint conversation with a group of women today at baseball. I don’t think I fit in there too much. There’s several groups of women, but no real way of labeling them, as if I would do that here, but anyway, I kind of just choose a different group to sit with each practice.
I’m like that and always have been. Just a little nomad.
Where was I going with this?
Oh yea, the women were discussing "their homework" and by "their homework", I mean their child’s homework in which they had taken great pride in exchanging tales of who did the most homework, how an assignment was to be done and the like. The entire conversation was about "our homework".
And then, I opened my mouth.
And words just spill out…where is that filter that’s suppose to keep me from getting punched in the face?
I’ve never been one of the popular kids and right now, I’m probably the target of some demon words.
Indeed, I spoke up. Basically I asked why the child’s homework was "their homework" and indicated that I would not be doing my son’s homework. Not my homework, it’s his. And, if it’s ridiculous, he won’t be doing it either.
And, the war was one.
One mother attempted to explain to me that she had watched her son and analyzed his skills and the type of learner that she believed him to be. And, in doing so, she determined that he needed to do homework, more homework than his not-so-much-of-a-believer-in-homework-teacher sends home.
Side note here…sorry, these children are all in the same teachers class and it is one of the very very few in the entire school that is not big on homework. This mother was advocating that her son needed more homework.
Unfortunately, that filter that should reside somewhere between my brain and my lips went missing.
I listened.
I asked if her son had any medical issues that might make it difficult for him to focus (ADD and can you say offended..she informed me right quick that not only had he not been tested, she would not have him tested). Now, I know the kid, I don’t think that he has any issues at all, I was just asking to be sure. And, I just wondered what she was basing her decisions on.
With that, I explained that doing homework might make his grades better in the moment, six weeks grades as they are done here, but in the long term, he probably wasn’t profiting from her parent-imposed homework. She informed me that indeed, after watching how he learned, she determined that the long term was exactly why he needed to do the homework.
And, that filter, man I hate it when it breaks down.
I was forced to ask
"So, have you watched, observed or analyzed how he learns when he doesn’t do the homework?"
The subject was changed by an innocent bystander…..and possibly that bystander was just enough to wake the filter in my brain up because I didn’t say anything further. So, of course, now I’m asking you.
If you have watched, observed, analyzed, whatever you want to call it (you being generally you) and you have determined that your child learns best when he/she has a substantial amount of homework, have you tried the watching, observing, analyzing of the same kid when he doesn’t do that homework and instead he goes outside and runs and rips and gets rid of extra energy?
I’m curious, is there as more to be learned sitting down at a table doing flashcards and the like to learn something such as multiplication tables than if the child is outside, throwing rocks in the pond, two by two and that’s four…four and four more and that’s…8…….5 rocks in, 5 rocks in, 5 rocks in, that’s 5 rocks in three times and that makes….ahem…15. Yes, indeed it does.
So, with that, I’m curious and I certainly am not trying to be combative nor was I tonight at the ball field, but if you have made the decision that your child needs to do a substantial amount of homework (and in some cases more than the teacher assigns), have you tried not doing it to see what happens?
And, I’ll save this for tomorrow but, when did a kid go to school and come home with homework for "us" to do.
I dun gone ‘n gut my edukatin ‘n thar ain’t no need ‘n me dooing it agin. Now is thar?
Seriously, that’s tomorrow’s rant, I do not send him to school to bring work home for me to do. What do you think?
I know, beating the dead horse here aren’t I?
Comments
I understand the need to foster good study habits. Trust me this honor roll learner was not very amused when she landed herself in college without any skills for studying.
However, doing homework, busy work and the like, is different than studying. Spelling words, sure we do them, site words and reading, of course we do. But, we don’t necessarily do it in the traditional ways. And, the parents who are going to assist their children are going to do so regardless of whether they are told they “must” sign in this book and log every story read.
One of my biggest issues and I hear it all the time is “We have to get home, we have a ton of homework”. To which I generally say, (and probably just to be mean), “oh I didn’t know you were in college”. And, I get a mean look back. They understand that I totally disagree with this parent sitting at the table with their kids every night doing the child’s work.
I’ve written about it before, that’s not fostering good study habits. If the child starts out with study habits that involves the parent sitting beside them for an hour every night (because let’s face it, some of the kindergarten and first grade homework can’t be done alone…but some of it can), then as they age, this is the study habit that they have developed.
The next thing you know, you have a 5th grader, an 8th grader and help me, an 11th grader who expects a parent to sit with them while they do homework and/or study. Do you know I’ve already done more with my kid in kindergarten and first grade than either of my parents did with me combined.
Homework, if it has to be done, is the child’s work. You as the parent, you go to a job every day, you have jobs at home like cooking and laundry, do you expect your child to do your work? Well of course not. And, I’m not talking about chores either, I’m talking about accountants that go to a job every day, then come home and do their child’s work.
School, school work and studying ARE the child’s job. Playing, making friends, learning life skills, that’s the child’s job. Not yours, hopefully the parents mastered those skills as children when they were doing their “job”.
I want to reiterate, homework, busy work and studying are not all the same thing. Assisting a child, providing a child with the necessary equipment and proper study desk/table etc are not part of doing homework.
These ladies were discussing a project where their child was suppose to get a large rock. Decorate it, and then journal their ability to take care of the rock as if it were a child. Second grade ya’ll, come on. But what I heard from them was, “we” found a rock in my mothers rock garden. “We” decorated the rock with markers and felt and glue. “We” have been journaling the rock’s experiences every night. “We” made the rock a jacket because it gets cold at school. “We” practice what he will write in his journal each night so that when he has to do it at school, he doesn’t make any spelling or grammar errors. “We” right the journal entry each night and then “we” go over it and correct it so “we” don’t make those mistakes at school the next day.
We? Do these people have a mouse in their pocket? Because this “we” in reference to a child’s homework is not going to fly at my house.
Sorry, no offense, just how it is.