To Homeschool or Not? That is the Question!
Posted on Sep 21, 2009 04:18:00 AM
Guest Post by Adrienne Carlson
This guest article was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of engineering degrees online . Adrienne welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: adrienne.carlson1@gmail.com
The number of children being homeschooled is on the rise, and it’s not just because most parents have lost faith in the public education system. Some of them truly believe that they know what’s best for their kids and that turning them over to teachers who consider them strangers, one among a group of 30 to 40 kids, is an act of treason. Others prefer to keep their children close, where they can control their education and steer it in the direction they want – it may be because of religious or political beliefs that make them baulk at their children learning what they feel amounts to blasphemy.
Homeschooling may work for some kids while failing miserably for others. As with other methods of education, this one too depends on certain factors, all of which must be conducive for it to succeed. In a regular school, a child who excels academically generally has the following characteristics:
· They are smart and hard working
· They have average to good teachers
· Their parents support their academic pursuits
· They are part of a happy family
And a homeschooled child does well if:
· Their parents are dedicated to the cause
· They are sincere in their efforts to learn
· They respond well to parental authority
· They realize that this alternative method of schooling depends mostly on their efforts if it is to succeed
If you compare both, you’ll see that it’s mostly the efforts and talent of the student that allow them to succeed, whether it is at a regular school or through homeschooling. The proponents of homeschooling would argue that regular schooling is filled with negative experiences that kill their children’s creativity and strive to conform them to a mould, one that is used to shape all children without any thought to their individuality. And opponents say that without social interaction, a child would be stifled and forced to toe a certain path, one that was chosen for them by their parents. This would be like a horse with blinders on, and once those restraining objects come off, they are completely disoriented.
The questions parents have to ask themselves is this – are they doing what they truly believe is good for their kids or are they lying to themselves and others and doing what is good for themselves? What would they do if their children wanted to be homeschooled if they went to a regular school or vice versa? Of course, most would argue that the kids don’t know enough about the world to really make this choice, but then, isn’t the very idea of schooling meant to teach children how to take the good with the bad, the ugly with the pretty? So if we wrap them in a cocoon and protect them from big, bad teachers and the schooling system, are we really doing them any good?
I guess only parents can answer this question, because they certainly seem to know what’s best for them!
Comments
Yes: The child’s involvement is crucial to their success. Parental involvement has proven to a be huge indicator of success even in public schooling options (which points to the power and beauty of homeschooling).
As for the “socialization” issue: I realize people still beat that drum, but they should stop. Seriously. It’s a non-issue*. Actually, socialization may be a very good reason to homeschool.
I have found when I’ve lied to myself–or even just completely misinterpreted what was going on–I don’t help much by asking myself if I’ve been mislead.
As for what you should do if you child wanted to do the other: Dr. Sax in “Why Gender Matters” makes an excellent case for not turning over decisions to your children. Read the book. It’s amazing.
All that to say: I am a huge proponent of homeschooling; it is a fantastic option. It’s not for everyone, sure, but it is a great option. And I wouldn’t say that “the very idea of schooling meant to teach children how to take the good with the bad, the ugly with the pretty”… no, I think the point of schooling is to continue to grow a child’s love of learning, give them the tools they need to do so on their own, help them develop into who they should be, and then let them fly! If it were to merely give them opportunity to deal with a negative situation (as well as a few good ones)–and so learn to live in “the real world”–I think we’d all need to stop arguing about educational options entirely! May the worse one win! [smile]
No. Loving encouragement and sparking a child’s natural desire to learn has proven to be much more effective than letting them deal with the gritty “realities” of life over and over again.
Is homeschooling right for you and your family? Perhaps. If you haven’t considered it, you should: It is a great option [smile].
~Luke
*Not that people don’t have issues learning to relate to others. People do. In both systems.
As Luke and many of you who read here often know, I struggle with this or I should say, I struggled with it. I think that the state of affairs in the public schools (from my perspective) had made me feel guilty for not home schooling my son. From the bits and pieces of the system that I was allowed to see, my son really needed me to drop what I was doing and carry on with homeschooling.
Since moving in and by moving I mean pushing myself inside the school, learning more about what’s going on, I am a bit more at ease. Does that mean that I have totally changed my mind? No, of course not, there is always room for improvement. However, I did have a conversation with someone who has one child in public school and others at home.
When I discussed this with her and she asked me why I didn’t homeschool and I rambled on and on and on and finally, she said, ‘You know, just saying, I don’t want to do it, right now I have other projects I would like to take care of is an acceptable answer”. I was shocked. Well, of course it was acceptable. The guilt that we feel is horrid and nasty.
And, if that sounds selfish, Ruby added that “it’s selfish to think that you have to do for your kids and not take care of your own wants and needs.” And, that’s when I realized, it’s ok that I don’t want to homeschool and it’s ok that I don’t want to because it benefits me right now. If my son’s school were in a horrible state of affairs, then putting my own desires ahead of my children would be wrong. But, the fact is, my son loves school, he never complains and normally is up and dressed before me in the morning.
So, it seems logical to me to say, “this is what I want to do because it benefits our family the most” and have it reference our desire not to homeschool and to say, “this is what I want to do because it benefits our family the most” and have it reference our desire to homeschool.
Right now, homeschooling would take away from the few places online that I do make money and my family needs that. And, since my son is technically in the best school in our area, I have to erase that guilt and know that my son is getting the best possible education he can get, even if it isn’t coming from me.
Shudding urp now
I’ll address socialization in another monologue later today…
For me I think regular schooling is better than homeschooling cos regular schooling makes the child face academic challenges with his/her colleagues in school
I am a Youth Services Librarian and I work with parents that homeschool, parents that send their children to the public school, and the local school teachers. Our village happens to have an excellent award winning school district. That being said I’ve found that all of the above mentioned people care very much about the education of our children, yes this does includes the teachers too. I am very open-minded to both sides of the equation. I think parents need to do what’s right for their children and family. It really seems counterproductive for parents who homeschool to look down on parents who don’t. I’ve seen it happen first hand. At the same time I think it’s just as bad for a well meaning person to tell a homeschooler they are ruining their child’s education. Parents need to respect one another’s decisions for their families.
I send my daughter to the public school and it’s working out very well. I have a very good friend who has chosen to homeschool three of her five children. Her eldest boy started out homeschooling but is now in the middle school mainly because he really wants to be and she trusts him to take control if his education. Her youngest has never been homeschooled because she has Asperger’s syndrome and they are choosing to utilize the “Head Start” program offered by the school district. I have tremendous respect for my friend and she gives that same respect to me.
In the end I think to home school or not is a very personal decision for each individual family to make. As parents the best thing to do is support and encourage one another in whatever endeavor we choose. This kind of respect and camaraderie would be an excellent example to give our children – what a wonderful learning experience that would be!