And then there was a debate..you weigh in on the subject now…

Posted on Dec 3, 2009 08:43:20 PM

Ok, so earlier in the week, someone form Parenting Magazine sent me a message asking for an interview regarding my thoughts on recess.  Basically, I am against it and the posts are up all over the web, just Google it, that’s how she found me.

Anyway, that discussion was enhanced last night as my son came home from school for the second day in a row with a sad face.  Talking.  The crime is much talking.  When he was preparing to do his homework, he said the spelling words and spelled them without even opening the book.  It’s kind of sad that he is so smart but can’t be quiet.

Quickly people started making recommendations for me to reward him with this or that if he came home with a smiley face.  I don’t agree with this tactic and that basically started a pretty nice discussion on Twitter about this. 

Later I was on Facebook with a high school classmate who has children that are 21 and 17.  I asked her opinion and without telling her mine, she almost recited exactly what I had professed to be my philosophy.  I then sent her to read the post on TwitterMoms where this was discussed.. 

Amazing that she and I think so much alike, her children practically grown, mine still quite young…..raised in the same general area and attended the same high school but we’ve rarely seen each other since then.  Our friendship was dormant but we think a lot alike obviously.

So, what’s your take?  Do you reward good behavior or punish bad behavior or both? Just curious?

Toy Rooms are all Well and Good Until….

Posted on Aug 22, 2009 04:12:33 PM

Do you have a toy room in your house or do you have bedrooms with toys?  We’ve done this several ways.  We’ve moved furniture between the three bedrooms more times than I care to count. 

The boys had separate rooms in the beginning, then one day I came home and Wayne had moved them to the same room.  Bad idea, we moved them back to separate rooms.  Then, after they were another year or 2 older, we put them back in the same and created the “toy room”.  Then, the room that we formerly called our office became their bedroom because it was bigger and that left a small toy room and a small storage room.

And, with the start of school and the fact that the 4 year old tends to talk and talk and talk to avoid going to sleep, the 6 year old then cries and whines because he can’t go to sleep for the talking.  And, some nights?  Some nights they both just down right played. 

And, so the idea was born, back to separate rooms.  I am a genius like that.  We emptied the toy room into the family room and and all but furniture out their bedroom.  Who needed a toy room when they had so many toys in their bedroom?  Grrrrr!

We commenced to moving the heavy stuff and I put them to separating the piles of toys.  Once my part was done, I sat down and helped them separate and I quietly tossed about half of the stuff in the trash.  SHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So, now when they get in trouble, we can send them to their room and they can do whatever as long as they aren’t bugging one another, right?  Before when we sent them to their room, the other kid followed and nothing was solved.  My philosophy is this, our kids like to be with us, so if “sending them to their room” is the punishment, I don’t care if they play once they get in there…I just want them to know that what they did was unacceptable.

So, how has the first 2 ours gone since we finished our little project?  Well, they have played in their rooms, they have played in each others room and currently as they were in trouble because someone hit someone and someone hit someone else…….the child being punished is sitting in front of my bedroom door (it’s closed, no one is giving him attention) and the other one?  The other one is standing in front of my new Frigidaire washing machine because I am washing comforters, mattress covers and sheets and I’m using the super duper sanitizing cycle.  How cool is that?

So much for “go to your room”.  It worked on Happy Days, why is it not working here?

So, do you have a toy room?  Separate bedrooms or one for multiple children?  How do you work it all out?