Forgive me if I’m not on the Haitian Bandwagon

Posted on Mar 22, 2010 12:16:53 PM

Ok, forgive me for stepping on toes here, but you know, I don’t always speak with the popular crowd.  But………..

I receive numerous emails every day asking me to help raise money for the tragedy in Haitian.  Now, you see, I used the word tragedy because indeed, it is a tragedy and I’m not so narrow minded that I can’t see that.  However, when we have tragedies in our country that need and deserve funding, it’s difficult for me to jump on the let’s-help-other-countries in their time of need bandwagon. 

I know, I know, I can see fire rising in some of your eyes already.  But, let’s take this to a more personal level.  Take the following scenario for instance:

Family A:  This family lives next door to you.   This family lives near you because they are family.  And, the only worker bee in the family just lost his/her job.  They are in need of food mostly as it hasn’t been long since he/she lost his/her job but they also know that if he doesn’t find a job within a month, they will be looking at possibly losing their home.  They need assistance of some kind.  And you have the ability to help them.

Family B:  This family lives in another state.  Their home was destroyed in natural disaster (tornado, flood, etc).  They are in need of assistance and thus far various agencies are asking for aid of all kind for this family. 

Who are you most likely to lend a hand to?  Why?  Well, I don’t mean to sound like I don’t care, but if a member of my family is in need and I know there needs and I know the reliability of the facts regarding their need (not saying that the agencies providing information about the other family aren’t reliable, but being realistic, what you can see with your own eyes usually means more than what you see on television), then that’s the family that I’m going to lend a hand to.  Then, if I have any other resources, I will definitely lend a hand to Family B.

Now, take that broad scale again.  Why are we allowing the children in the United States to go hungry, without medical attention and/or insurance and why do we allow them to receive a less than honorable education?  Instead, we are sending funds to another country.  I know, I know, it’s mean and narrow minded some of you will say.  But the fact is, we have people in our country who are homeless and hungry.  We have families without jobs.  Moreover, we have elderly people who can’t afford medical care (ahem, my mom has cancer and this time next week, she will be without insurance) and every time I turn around, someone is asking me to lend a hand to people in another country.

Surely you understand now why I don’t forward the messages requesting me (and you) to help the people in another country.  Yes, I know, the circumstances there are worse there than they are here, right, right…but you know what, they were worse there before the disaster than they were here before the disaster. 

So, just because someone suffers a loss doesn’t always mean we need to jump up and try to help them when we’ve managed to leave our own folks out in the cold the whole time.  Just because they have now suffered a natural disaster doesn’t mean that they are suffering any more than some of the folks in our country who have experienced a natural disaster (or even a personal one). 

One of the most important lessons I had to learn as a mother was if I didn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t take care of my children, husband and mother.  And, if we as a country can’t take care of our own people, why are we trying to take care of others? 

Make sense to anyone besides me?

Hopefully I Made My Mark

Posted on Mar 9, 2010 04:00:20 PM

I spoke about my son’s behavior at school in terms of his fear of the repercussions that he would face from me and/or his father for getting in trouble at school.  In case you missed that horror, I talk a lot  NEWS! FLASH! Right?

But, I never got in trouble at school for talking or misbehaving.  And my reason was that I simply did what I was suppose to do and possibly the fear of what my father who was a teacher might do if I was constantly being reprimanded at school. 

And, I also mentioned that I have no clue why own son isn’t afraid of what his father and I might do if he continues to misbehave but hopefully, this last go ’round we made a mark.  I was even a bit concerned we might have been too tough considering the disrupting of his schedule to go to Disney and the like.

Either way, my little yes ma’am, no ma’am, smiley face cherub has been in full effect for the last 7 school days and hopefully, just by some stroke of luck, he got it. 

I know that many parents have much bigger issues with their children, their learning, their behavior even.  But, for us, this is a big deal.  It isn’t necessarily that he is getting in trouble for talking, it’s the general idea that he is bulking authority by not following the rules and conforming.

And now, just as I think we might be on the road to accomplishing that task, I’m faced with a odd thought.  Do I really want my kid to be a conformist?

Bah, does this parenting gig ever get any easier?